


The ficlet jukebox

by thyandra



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul:re
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Mermaids, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Rated T for the second ficlet, each ficlet will have its own tags in the note to the chapter, for better clarity, the major character death tag is there only for the second ficlet, the other ones will have fluff, there's some shady business going on there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 15:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6476392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thyandra/pseuds/thyandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of stand-alone drabbles and short OS following different prompts and one-line sentences. Reposting here from my tumblr to keep them better organized. </p><p>1. "Why are you all wet?" - HideKane, Mermaid AU<br/>2. "What the fuck- oh. Hi." - MutsUrie, Soulmate Au<br/>3. "Be my partner in crime?" - HideKane/ HideHaise, Canonverse, Amnesiac!Hide<br/>4. Everything's okay and I'm not crying AU - HideKane, Canonverse<br/>5. "And that's why we're here" - HideKane, Post Canon</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of nosy people, mermans in disguise and wet books

**Author's Note:**

> In which Kaneki is wet, Hide is nosy and a new frienship blossoms from scraps.  
> Addiotional tags: mentions of bullying, cultural differencies and integration. Don't let yourself get fooled though, this is just pure fluff.
> 
> (As a side note: I'm writing a sequel to the present ficlet, so if anyone's interested in it, please do let me know with a comment or a shout in my [tumblr](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/) askbox so that I can kick myself in the butt until I get it done).

“Why are you all wet?”

The question startles him and Kaneki almost drops the still open bag in his trembling hands. He flinches and keeps his back to the other boy, who’s probably still staring intently at his tense shoulders, his gaze piercing and inquisitive.

Kaneki hurries to collect the remaining books still scattered across the grass, soaked, giving up trying to squeeze out all the water that he knows won’t come out of them. They’re ruined.

“I fell over,” he explains, one hand flying to his chin, while the other hurries to close his bag with a click; he can’t help but notice how those brown orbs follow his gesture, and he tries his best to shrug nonchalantly as he avoids Nagachika-kun’s eyes altogether, instead directing his gaze to the river as if it were enough of an explanation.  
_Please, please don’t ask any more questions_.

The message seems to pass across because the boy just hums in reply. He doesn’t seem convinced, but Kaneki can live with it as long as Nagachika-kun refrains from prying.

“Well, I have to go now,” Kaneki then says as a way to end the conversation. He suddenly feels really tired. How long till he can go home? He rubs his eyes and begins to walk off, not bothering to look behind his shoulder if the boy’s still there. “Need to stop by the library to buy new books,” he whispers to himself as an afterthought.

“Wait,” Nagachika says, trotting behind him. “Aren’t you cold? You really are soaked to the bone! You’ll get a cold, man!”

Kaneki looks pointedly at his feet, as he keeps walking, the boy in tow as a faithful dog alongside his master. “I can manage till I get home.”

“Do you live nearby?” Nagachika-kun asks, and Kaneki finally raises his eyes to properly look at him. He’s surprised when he finds genuine concern in those honest brown eyes. He looks away sharply, refusing to reply. No, he doesn’t live nearby, not that the boy needs to know.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassures again, speeding up his step. Nagachika catches up again.  “Don’t you have anywhere else to be?” Kaneki hesitantly asks, knowing he’s being rude now. His cheeks flare fiery pink. What’s with this boy and his sudden interest in his business?

Nagachika-kun replies with a toothy grin. “Practice’s already over,” he says, glancing at the sports bag Kaneki now notices on his broad back. That’s right, he’s a part of the volleyball club. Kaneki averts his eyes again. He shouldn’t be fraternizing with a volleyball player, Kaneki thinks. He’s popular. Kaneki doesn’t want to taint his classmate’s good name if someone were to see them together. Besides, it’s not like he can let Nagachika-kun walk him _home_. How could he explain that he lives…

“I know that you’re a _marmaid_ -errr- I guess more like a mar _man_ , sorry, with your fishy scales and all that cool stuff, but don’t you get cold when you’re up here all wet like that?” Nagachika says as if he’s talking about the weather, and Kaneki freezes. He stops walking, his mind short-circuiting on him. He gapes, at a loss for words.

Did Nagachika just…?

How could he…?

 _Since when_?

Had Kaneki let his act slip? Did anyone else know? Were they going to kick him out from school for good now? Oh, he bet that some of his classmates would be _thrilled_ to know the news. Would they call him names, to add to the bullying, now that they knew he was a… he was a… How long were they going to let him attend class?

“Whoa, whoa, man, calm down. Deep breaths. In and then out. In an then out,” Nagachika is on him in a minute. Kaneki looks at him, and lets the calm, soothing aura of the other boy calm his nerves, his eyes never once leaving the worried brown of Nagachika’s own as the boy repeats his mantra, his voice calm and steady, grounding.

Finally, Kaneki closes his eyes. He feels drained. The hand on his shoulder squeezes reassuringly, and Kaneki distantly thinks that he hadn’t noticed the other boy getting so close. He’s too exhausted to really care.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to startle you. I didn’t know it was a secret,” he awkwardly apologizes. Kaneki hesitantly raises his head to look at him, scanning his face for a lie. Nagachika is scratching his cheek in a nervous manner. Despite himself, Kaneki can’t find one.

“Well, if you weren’t cold then, you certainly are now,” Nagachika-kun suddenly notes. “You’re trembling.”

Kaneki recoils. “I-I should get home,” he babbles lamely.

“No way I’m going to let you go when you’re this shaken up. Besides, you’re still dripping wet,” Nagachika says, voice unexpectedly stern, the hand still on his shoulder tensing for a second. He reaches for his sport bag with his free hand. “Hang on,” he adds seconds later. “I should have exactly what you need, man.” Kaneki looks at him in bewilderment as he fishes in his bag, searching for something, his face lighting up when he finds the needed object. “Here,” he chirps, offering him a clean towel.

Kaneki just stares at his hand as if it had claws and was ready to attack him.

“Why?”

“Uhm?”

“Why are you helping me?”

Nagachika looks at him as if he doesn’t understand the question. “Because I don’t want you to catch a cold…?” He replies, his confusion making it sound like a question.

“No, I mean. Why aren’t you freaked out? Why are you helping me, Nagachika-kun?”

Nagachika just blinks. Then a smile slowly stretches on his lips.

“You can call me Hide,” he says, and Kaneki is about to protest when the other boy adds with a cheeky grin. “And I suppose I’m helping you because you’re my friend from now on. Don’t bother arguing with it. I already decided for you when I noticed you all alone and friendless, and I can tell that you’re dying to have _a_ _friend_ to complain about those soaked books. So now I’m that friend, Kaneki. And friends help each other out.” He finishes his speech with another large grin, satisfied by his logics, and throws the towel on Kaneki’s head.

Kaneki is glad for the much needed shield; his face is burning. He said _the word_ as though it was so easy… As though Kaneki wasn’t a merman in disguise and a victim of bullying on top of that… Why would a perfectly normal guy like him want to associate with him? He isn’t that cool to begin with…

He busies himself by toweling off his hair, trying to dispel the thoughts. He can’t let this happen. He can’t do this to Hid- to _Nagachika-kun_. Not even if he desperately wants to be his _friend_. Kaneki bites his lip, already turning the words in his head, rehearsing them, when a sudden weight on his shoulders promptly shuts him up. He suddenly feels really warm.

He removes the towel from his eyes to glance into an extremely pleased Hide, who’s looking at him as though he’d just won the lottery. His volleyball jacket is no longer resting on Hide’s shoulders, but is instead placed more comfortably on Kaneki’s, warming him up from his still soaked clothes.

“I told you it was no use arguing it, Kaneki,” he chants, barely managing to say the words through that huge grin of his. Kaneki’s own lips pull a bit upwards at the sight, and he feels something funny and warm in his chest. “You’re my friend now, whether you want it or not.”

Avoiding his gaze, Kaneki thinks that it’s settled, then. It’s not like anything he’s going to say will dissuade Hide from his intentions. Something squeezes in his chest and Kaneki doesn’t know how to feel about it. Happy? Scared? Confused? Yeah, that must be it. This is really sudden, ok? But maybe… Maybe it could work out. He nods, bashful, trying to get to terms with the foreign idea.

“Besides, who else gets to have a mermai– Err, a Merman as a friend? I’m the luckiest guy on Earth! You need to tell me more about it, Kaneki!”

Kaneki blushes again, this time from embarrassment at his friend’s antics. “D-Don’t shout it like that! People might hear you!”  
“So what, Kaneki?” he asks, a lilt to his name, as if tasting the sound of it on his tongue. Something flutters in Kaneki’s chest again. “That’s so cool! You shouldn’t hide it! I want to know everything about it! Will you show me your tail? Eh? Does it change colour when it catches the sunlight? Are you the only merman in our school? How many others are there? Eh Ka-ne-kiiiii?”

Kaneki feels overwhelmed by the sudden rush of questions, but strangely Hide’s enthusiasm is making something warm crawl his way up his chest. This is the most comfortable he’s been with himself and his nature for a long while, and it feels great to be able to just be himself, no lies, no omission, no hiding. He doesn’t know how Hide found out, nor does he care anymore. Knowing that Hide knows and doesn’t judge him any less than his human friends makes something close to happiness swell in Kaneki’s chest.

Yeah, he thinks later that day, walking lazily with Hide in tow. This is something completely new to Kaneki. Never in his 10 years on the surface he’s experienced such a wholehearted acceptance. People always targeted him because he was always by himself, reading his books, trying to absorb as much human knowledge as he could. Kids made fun of his passions, people kept away from the weird boy who always looked at the sea but always shied from it, afraid of getting wet.

Kaneki had lived his human life alone, and had thought he was thoroughly happy with it until Hide came along out of nowhere and showed him something completely unexpected, and suddenly Kaneki craves for more.  
It’s weird. It’s unheard of. But Kaneki is willing to try.

If a smile from Hide could build bridges across cultures and species, then this friendship of theirs could really work out.

And he has to thank his bullies and his soaked clothes for it. Fate sometimes had a roundabout way to make things work, he muses with a smile and an heartfelt “ _see you tomorrow_ ” as he parts way with Hide for the day.

It already feels like a promise.


	2. Of unjust fate, bright colors and bitter tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Urie does something he regrets, Mutsuki wants to create his own destiny, and fate doesn't wait for either of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this ficlet contains some possible triggering contents! Additional tags are the following: mentions of drugs, implied depression, character death.  
> Please stay safe, kids. 
> 
> As a side note: even though I kind of like how this particular ficlet turned out, I still feel like I made Mutsuki a bit OOC. Please do let me know what you thought (and if you have any constructive criticism, that's also super appreciated!).  
> If for some reason you wanted to like/reblog this fic, [here's](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/141929101489/pairing-of-your-choice) the tumblr link.  
> Enjoy, if possible!

If someone asked Urie how he thought he would be spending his Saturday evening, cursing his whole existence and trying to find a way to survive the night with his life wasn’t something he’d been planning on doing.

(Shit. Fuck, shit, shit). He was dead on his fucking feet. How could he get out of this one? He knew one day that job was going to get him killed. He knew that associating with That Guy would be trouble. He’d known all along, but went along with it nonetheless, because he needed the job. He needed it so damn much.

He run a trembling hand through his hair. “How long will he wait?” he asked, trying to keep his cool, his mind already leaving out everything but the most practical data. He needed to focus.

“Eleven thirty,” Shirazu replied. He was biting his nails so forcefully Urie knew he would break skin. Not that it would matter. They would be swimming in their own blood in a few hours anyway.

“Shit,” Urie hissed again for good measure. His thoughts kept shifting to that hospital room, to that lone figure he knew deserved none of this.

He needed that money _now_.

 

x.

 

Urie’s heavy lidded eyes surveyed the zone in a calculating manner, muscles relaxed, his whole body focused on the task at hand. It wasn’t like he’d ever gotten himself in this much trouble before. A couple of fights during high school couldn’t even begin to compare to what he was going to do in a matter of minutes. He took a sharp breath in, then exhaled slowly. Shirazu was eying him warily.

“Uribo, are you sure about this?” He was fidgeting with his hands again, and Urie knew he was fighting the urge to put them in his mouth. They couldn’t get any attention on them.

_No, of fucking course I’m not sure about this_. “Yes,” he replied with finality, keeping the waver out of his tone.

“'Okay,” Shirazu breathed. “'kay. I’m not chickening out. I’ve got your back, man.”

Urie looked at him, the dull black and whites in his vision wavering for a moment. It was then that he realized that Shirazu, too, hadn’t seen the colors, yet. He had a whole life ahead of him. He deserved to see them. To meet his mate. He stared at the dull gray of his eyes and wondered for the fist time what they would look like in their full glory. He grit his teeth painfully hard, managing to force out a surprisingly firm: “Are you an idiot? This is my mess, Shirazu. I blew up Furuta’s money. He’ll want _my_ head.”

“I know,” he unhelpfully replied, his tone surprisingly calm, too.

“Let me clean it up on my own.”

“I can’t. This is also my fault. For not stopping ya’ when I still could. For not helping you out with your father’s bills.”

Urie sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew there was no dissuading him when he set his mind on something, much like himself. But he had to try. Haru wouldn’t forgive him if he didn’t.

“You still have a family out there,” he reasoned. “You’ll break Haru’s heart.”

Shirazu smiled bitterly. “So do you,” he reminded him, and his smile softened a bit, before he twisted his lips in a grimace. “And besides, I already did that when I started working for that Furuta guy with you, man.”

It stung. It had all been Urie’s fault. He lowered his head. He had dragged Shirazu into this. He _had to_ make sure they made it out of this mess alive.

He pulled out the gun from where he kept it tucked to his pants. He checked everything was in place, and then he gave Shirazu a last look, to make sure he was still up for what was to come. Shirazu tried to give him a smile. It came out looking more like another pained grimace.

 

x.

 

If someone had asked Mutsuki how he thought he’d be spending his Saturday, working the evening shift in his parents’ tobacco shop wouldn’t be his first guess.

He sighed, tucking away the last of the receipts he’d typed that day. He glanced at the clock on the wall. 22:50. Ten more minutes and then he could finally call it day. He busied himself with replacing a few magazines in the left corner of the shop, those near the entrance, so that he wouldn’t miss any possible costumer coming in. Not that anyone would come at this hour anyway.

Still, he meticulously organized the books and TV magazines on the shelves, completely focused on the task at hand, and he almost didn’t notice the customers coming in, their steps soft and discreet, if not for the shift in the air. He swiftly turned towards them, a smile already plastered to his face that instantly fell when he was attacked by the myriad of colors swimming his his vision, exploding behind his eyelids.

“Please, don’t make this any more difficult on yourself and on me than it already is,” The shorter of the two said. His face was covered by a motorbike helmet. His friend’s was, too.

“What the fuck- Oh,” Mutsuki half-whispered, still shaken up by the sudden change in his vision. “Hi,” he dumbly offered. Then his gaze fell to the gun the guy who had spoken was holding in his right hand. Pointed at him.

Mutsuki blanched.

“I-is this a joke?” he asked, voice trembling, as his eyes seemed to be glued to the weapon. He wanted to raise his gaze, look at the stranger’s eyes to detect the lie, the pretense. This was just an elaborate prank, wasn’t it? This guy – His soulmate, Mutsuki realized with a start – didn’t really want to harm him, right? It was a plastic gun, wasn’t it? He weakly laughed at the thought. Of course it was. This guy was his Chosen One. He couldn’t hurt Mutsuki.

Right?

His hands were sweaty and he knew he was panicking. The guy hadn’t said anything to reassure him. Still had to lower his almost-certainly plastic gun.

“I- uhm,” Mutsuki tried again, his words failing him. He finally managed to tear his gaze from the weapon, and he pointedly stuck it in the guy’s eyes, still shielded by his helmet visor. Even with that thing covering them, he could see the deep and dark shade he didn’t even yet know the name of. He could see them too, right? The colors. He was supposed to. Then why wasn’t he lowering that gun?

“Listen,” His soulmate finally spoke, “If you just give me all the money on the register you won’t ever see my face again. (Please comply. Don’t be a moron.)”

“W-why are you doing this?” Mutsuki asked, almost hysterics by the absurdity of the situation. He swore he saw the guy flinch.

“Buddy, let’s just try somewhere else,” said his friend weakly.

The gun in Mutsuki’s soulmate’s hand trembled for a moment,and for a foolish moment Mutsuki thought that he was going to agree. That this farce was going to end.

“We can’t. He’d call the police after we left, Idiot,” His soulmate said. Mutsuki heard his voice crack painfully, and in that moment he realized that the Thief must be feeling just as scared as he was. What a great consolation.

Mutsuki felt like he was going to puke.

“Why me?” he asked no one, falling to his knees. “Why did you have to chose this place?” He said, not expecting a reply, as his hands clasped his hair in a painful grip. “Why not everywhere else? Why today that I’m stuck here? Why _you_?” Spite colored his voice and he rejoiced in the way the guy flinched at the hatred and hurt in Mutsuki’s voice. He was openly sobbing by now, his demeanor had long since lost his composure, tears cascading down his face. “Why did it have to be you? A fucking _thief_ of all things. What did I do to deserve this kind of Fate?” He didn’t know what he was feeling sorry for anymore. This situation? His life? His pretty possible upcoming death?

“Urie, please, let’s just go,” the friend said, reaching with a hand for the gun in his Soulmate’s – Urie- hand.

“We can’t. It has to be here,” Urie said, and his voice broke again. “We’re running out of time. You know He’ll come after us. You know he’ll target Haru or– or my father,” he gritted his teeth. “Keep an eye on him. I’m going to bring the damn money myself.”

Mutsuki watched the guy make his way to the register as though he was seeing this from a thick glass. Then it finally stuck him. He wasn’t going to leave. He was going to rob his parents of weeks of hard work. He was going to take it all away, because he was a fucking _thief_ who didn’t have any respect towards other people’s lives and hardships. It hit him with a sort of finality that made him feel cold to his bones.

If this was the kind of soulmate Mutsuki deserved, he didn’t want to live as long as it took to fall in love with him.

If this was the Fate that had been bestowed upon his head, he was going to change it.

Mutsuki didn’t feel anything at all, as he swiftly jumped to his feet and threw himself at the guys’ throat, trying to disarm him. He didn’t feel anything as a single shot resounded through the tiny shop, moving the otherwise stillness of destiny. He didn’t feel anything as his Soulmate’s eyes widened in fear and realization as he looked at the gun in his hands as though he hadn’t been the one to fire it. Mutsuki felt his lips stretch in a bitter smile.

He did feel a string tearing from his heart, though, as he fell to the ground, blood pooling from the wound in his abdomen. He felt a strange satisfaction as he noticed the tears, incredulous and horrified, pooling in Urie’s eyes, and it was so strong to mend the pain of his heart breaking for some reason yet unknown to him.

And then darkness enveloped him whole.

 

 

x.

 

“I’m calling quits,” Urie croaked, not bothering to raise his head from his blanket cocoon. He hadn’t gotten up from it in days. He hadn’t showered in what felt like weeks. Shirazu pretended not to see the redness in his eyes, or how dead his whole person looked. He pretended not to notice the ever present slouch in his shoulders since that day of the robbery.

He didn’t know the real reason behind Urie’s crawling depression. But he had a faint idea. There was only one reason why Urie, the Uncaring, stony and stoic guy he’d known for half his life would feel so shaken up after what happened. It was already awful having to bear the thought of having blood to taint one’s consciece. Shirazu knew that for all the bravado Urie put on at times, he was just as human as any other. He knew that he couldn’t be okay with being a murderer. Dealing was a thing. Taking a life, though…

Still, Shirazu knew there was more to it. Urie was strong. Awfully so, in the feelings department, despite everything that he’d been through. But in the past weeks he’d been neglecting visits to his only family; it wasn’t like his father would’ve noticed, as he hadn’t yet woken up. But Urie never went a whole week without visiting, let alone two, three. Shirazu got it, he really did. He knew that Urie’s father would probably never wake up from his coma, but he undestood that Urie would never discard the possibility. He would never stop hoping, because the guy had been his only family, his most important person. Until…

“What colour are my eyes?” he asked him suddenly, tone forcefully light.

“Go away.”

“That good? Man, I’m flattered.”

“I meant it, go away. Go kiss Haru on the hair like you gross siblings do. Go celebrate you being still alive.”

He would. Shirazu really would, if he hadn’t lost his best friend along the way.

“Uribo,” he started. “This won’t be easy,” he stated.

“I know.”

“Furuta won’t let you go that easily. You’re one of his best dealers, buddy.”

“See if I care.”

“Promise me you will be careful. That guy’s insane, I’m telling ya. He gets a kick out of seeing people suffer.”

A grunt was his only reply.

“Promise _him_ ”, Shirazu then said, uncharacteristically somber. Urie kept silent. “Promise the guy you killed, promise your soulmate you won’t die, too. Promise him you’re worth the life you’ve been given.”

Still no reply. Not that Shirazu ever expected one. He sighed, then squeezed his best friend’s shoulder for a second before getting up.

“I’m leaving for work now,” he called out. “There’s leftovers in the fridge and a clean change of clothes on your desk chair. Pull your life together, Uribo.”

No voice could be heard but the muffled grunt from the bed. Shirazu sighed again.

_I know you have the strength to do it. You always had. You just have to channel it the right way._

And eventually, Shirazu knew he would. Caring about someone always brought out Urie’s brighter sides of his personality. _Thank you, Nameless Guy. I’m sorry it had to go this way. In the end, you really were his perfect Mate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably not as sorry as I should be for all the angst, but in my defense the character death tag was one of the given prompts! I promise that starting from the next fic, there will be a lot of fluff (and Hurt/Comfort because apparently I can't write fluff without a touch of angst first).  
> Please feel free to drop a comment or to come visit me on my [tumblr](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/)!


	3. Of dangerous memories, shenanigans and drunken stupors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hide is the amnesiac one, Kaneki denies himself hope, and the current investigation feels too much like they're grade schoolers again planning mischief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update because the last chapter was a bit of a low blow --okay maybe also because I LOVE SO MUCH this little AU and it kinda saddens me to only leave it as a barely-2k words fic. Maybe I'll come back to this universe one day. Maybe. Who knows. 
> 
> This ficlet has no additional tags, except maybe the use of alchool as a way to cope with confusing feelings...? Don't do that, kids. Your health is more important than that \o/  
> Enjoy!

Haise stared at the fashion magazine clutched in his best friend’s hands in disbelief.

“So, what do you say?”

If he was honest with himself, this wasn’t how Haise had expected to meet again with Hide. Far from it, actually. It was already weird enough coming to the meeting room for the upcoming investigation on Nutscracker and finding him seated there, blond hair with brown roots just as he remembered them, a permanent slouch in his back as he leaned against the chair in a lazy manner, or the way he’d let the first few button of his shirt loose, exposing his neck, no tie in sight. It was undeniably _him_ , Haise had thought, a smile ready to stretch on his lips and a warmth spreading in his chest, until Hide had turned around, looked him in the eyes, and no recognition had flashed in his brown irises as he got up on his feet to give him a polite bow.

This wasn’t the Hide he remembered. The best friend of a whole lifetime. His smile wasn’t as radiant and intimate as it had been.

Hide didn’t remember him.

But somehow, the stranger sitting next to him in that unsympathetic meeting room was still the same Hide he remembered, the same Hide he had missed so much during the last three years of his life. It was maddening.

The temptation to fall into step at his side was so strong and so overwhelming, that Haise felt winded and on the verge of collapsing just staring at the golden flecks in  that brown sea of autumn leaves that were Hide’s eyes. He didn’t know how much he’d missed the comfort of those irises, the familiarity of Hide’s antics, the reassurance in his demeanor, until they were gone.

He wanted to bring them back, and he hated himself for it.

“Please correct me if I got this wrong, rank 1 Nagachika,” he started, hesitancy lacing his tone as he had to force himself to say his full name, to relearn his identity. _It hurt_. It hurt so bad to look at him, and Haise felt selfish and disgusted at himself for that thought, “but you’re telling me that you want to go undercover. And you want to disguise yourself as a…” his words failed him. A lump began to form in his throat. This was so typical of Hide. This ridiculous plan of his, one with a thousand details that could easily go wrong. But so simple and so direct in its execution that it could easily succeed at the same time.

“As _a girl_ , yes,” Hide finished for him, without a care in the world, sending a grin his way in typical Hide fashion. It was almost like they were grade schoolers again, planning mischief. Or, more accurately: Hide was the one planning his shenanigans, and Haise was the unwilling accomplice that went with it nonetheless. How was Haise supposed to deal with him and his ideas, really.

“What,” said the Quinx in unison with varying tones of indignation and incredulity.

_What_ , indeed, echoed Haise in his head. _What’s my life even_.

Hide closed the magazine and patted him on his shoulder with a cheeky grin, then clasped his hands in a preying gesture. “Be my partner in crime?” he begged, sending him a wink.

_For the umpteenth time_ , Haise thought. _It’s not like I ever knew how to stop you from mischief._

Haise sighed. “I suppose this is the best idea we got so far,” he finally agreed.

 

 

x.

 

 

Not for the first time that evening, Haise questioned his life choices.

“Whoa, man. I wasn’t expecting you to be so cute with those fake eyelashes,” Hide exclaimed, not bothering to hide his snickering.

“I could say the same for you and those heels of yours,” Haise backfired.

Hide looked affronted.

“ _Respect_ , buddy,” Hide commanded, turning serious all of a sudden, “It was hard learning how to walk on these traps. Besides, my feet _hurt_. How do girls do this on a regular basis?” he whined pityingly, and the sight shot a pang to Haise’s heart. How very familiar, those theatrics.

He just smiled in reply.

 

 

x.

 

 

 

The operation in itself was a success, but Haise hadn’t expected for Hide to use the excuse to get drunk. They were _on duty_. How was he going to explain this to his superiors?

Haise realized that more than one thing had changed with Hide in those three years they had been separated. The Hide Haise had known would’ve never done something like this.

That’s what he told himself as a very tipsy Hide drooled on his dress as they waited for their cab outside the pub, Haise’s arm securely circling Hide’s waist for support.

“You smell nice, buddy,” Hide said in his drunken stupor. He breathed in, and Haise felt a shiver run down his spine as Hide nuzzled deeper in the crook of his exposed neck. Haise couldn’t wait for the moment he came back to the chateau so that he could shower that make up off his face and that dizzyines enveloping his head at the familiarity of Hide’s presence in his arms.

He’d missed him _so bad_ during those long three years.

He had wondered more than once what had happened after their run in in that sewers tunnel. At first the guilt had almost crushed him whole, when he’d still been thinking that Hide had died back then. Then his despair had muted into resignation, and he’d wanted to know more about the operation. He had dug in those files, examined every report until he’d come to a startling realization.

Hide had been listed off as “missing”, not “dead”.

There was still a tiny speck of hope, and Haise had tried his best not to fall for it, knowing full well that it could’ve been a mislead, knowing from experience that deluding himself was the key to falling even harder, when reality finally took its toll on him again.

But that single word had planted itself in his brain before he could rationalize the reason why his chest suddenly felt like it might explode, why his legs felt weak from a relief he didn’t know he was capable of feeling, or why he had cried himself sick that evening, curled up on his bed, his pillow pressed tightly to his mouth not to let the kids hear his wails.

He had begun to hope in the space between an heartbeat and the next, because if Hide was _alive_ , then this life of his, this stupid life of his as a fucking investigator had been _worth it_. He had cried himself to sleep that day, and his dreams had tasted like blood on his tongue, had felt like rough fabric between his fingers and had smelled of Hide and of lingering sweat on his skin.

He had woken up with a start that time, tears still pooling in his eyes, and a resolve not to search for him ever again. A small smile had formed on his lips as he’d sealed his deal with himself.

_You have to promise yourself you won’t search for him. You’ll let him live his peaceful life away from you. He doesn’t deserve a repeat of what happened_.

Tears had trickled down to his pillow, as he had gazed at his ceiling as if it held the answers to the universe and to the mystery of life and love and human empathy.

_Maybe one day you’ll find a stranger in a pub and have a drink with him, and he will have brown eyes and blond hair and a smile that says_ I’ve missed you, too _._

Haise had really believed in all that.

Or, he’d tried his best to.

“Ssssmell ssssooo nice,” Hide resumed, pulling him back to the present, exhaling deeply from his position still too close to Haise’s skin. He felt his heart shatter in a million pieces, and his grip on his best friend’s hip tightened for the briefest of seconds.

_You have to stay strong. He doesn’t remember you. He can still be happy, with or without you_.

“Y'smell jussst like _him,_ ” Hide slurred, and Haise froze.

“What?” he questioned, almost letting the panic slip in his tone, but Hide wasn’t listening anymore, instead resuming his snuggling.

Haise let the subject drop, sighing. He forced his muscles to relax. He was feeling too on edge. He had to calm down. “The cab is almost here,” he said conversationally, to try and distract himself. “We’ll be home soon.”

For some reason, he heard a small sob at those words.

“Hey,” he weakly tried, trying to get a glimpse of his companion’s face. “What’s wrong? Do you feel like you’re going to puke?”

Hide didn’t reply, instead shielding his face more effectively in Haise’s shoulder.

Haise was beginning to panic. It wasn’t like he had any experience with drunken people. What was he supposed to say? Tell him something comforting? Letting him fall asleep? Telling him he was going to feel fine after he puked all the intoxicating liquid burning in his belly?

He was at a loss.

“Will you be okay?” he asked instead, and then mentally kicked himself for his choice of words. Of course Hide wasn’t okay, he was drunk, away from home, walking on dangerously high heels he’d just learned how to use, and that could very well unbalance him until he fell over in his drunken state. And, on top of that, he was the crier type of drunk.

“I a'wayss do in the eeend,” Hide slurred. Haise would’ve missed the shaky exhale, if not for the close proximity. “But you do smell like him. That’s unfaaaair.”

Haise disentangled himself to properly look at him. He cupped Hide’s face with gentle hands. “Hide, _you’re drunk_. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Am I making you uncomfortable? You need to tell me,” he said, as slowly as he could, trying to let the message across.

Hide’s lips stretched in a lazy and slightly dopey grin. “You call’d me Hide,” he stated, all too pleased with himself.

Haise realized his slip and backtracked immediately. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rude, Nagachika-san.”

“I like it. Call me H-Hide,” he hiccuped again. “He did, too.”

“Who?” Haise inquired, curiosity getting the better of him. Everyone called him Hide for short. His best friend hadn’t liked his full name all that much. Apparently that hadn’t changed.

“I dunnooo,” he lamented, genuine confusion lacing his tone. “Someone important.”

Haise smiled. _Maybe_ …

“My head huuuuurts,” Hide slurred, and it was all the warning Haise got before Hide bent over and puked his guts all over the concrete floor. Their taxi arrived just that moment.

Haise offered the taxi driver an hesitant smile as he scooped his best friend up his crouching position, reassuring the driver that Hide wouldn’t be puking anymore on his car. He seemed to have emptied all his stomach on the floor anyway.

They sat in companionable silence on the soft cushioned seats of the taxi, Haise drawing reassuring circles on Hide’s back.

Maybe, just maybe, Hide’s memories weren’t completely lost after all.

Maybe one day he’d remember him.

Until then, Haise swore he would be at his side, protecting him. If he remembered or not, he’d let him have the peaceful and happy life he deserved. He owed him as much.

With another smile as they finally came back home, he reasoned that this was a good compromise. Or, the only one he was going to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How dense and oblivious is Kaneki, really? Can we please talk about it? A brick could hit him square in the face and he would still not notice it uuuugh  
> By the way, [here's](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/141955945374/hi-o-if-youre-still-doing-the-ficlet-thing-can) the tumblr link for this ficlet, if you wanted to like/reblog it.   
> As always, comments of any kind (and kudos) are always very welcome. It won't hurt using two minutes of your time to let me know someone's even reading this thing, right? ;-;   
> Also, feel free to drop by my tumblr and say hi (or talk hidekane to me) anytime!


	4. Of awaited reunions, relieved tears and comfort blankets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kaneki totally isn't crying, Hide isn't accepting apologies but only hugs, and an unconventional use of comfort blankets is found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised the fluff, so here's the fluff. Well, what I hope to be fluff anyway. I feel like I've been writing angst for ages, so I may be a bit rusty.   
> I know this is probably /not/ how they're going to reunite, so let's indulge into this little future!fic set in an hypothetical canonverse as much as possible until we can!  
> This ficlet doesn't have any additional warning. Please enjoy!  
> As always, you can come and visit me on my [tumblr](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/).

“I really thought you were–”

“Mh-mmh.”

“I’m so glad I was wrong!”

“I know.”

They had been at it for the past… thirty minutes? Two hours? Hide didn’t really know anymore, nor did he particularly care. He raised one of his hands to card it through Kaneki’s black strands, inhaling deeply and letting his cheek rest comfortably on top of his best friend’s head. “I really missed you, man,” he just chose to say. It wasn’t like they needed to outright say anything more. But he wanted to make sure Kaneki knew this time.

“H-Hide,” Kaneki hiccuped, tripping over his own words for the umpteenth time that day, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Hide breathed through his soft hair. “It’s okay, man, let it all out,” Hide reassured him, keeping him close to his chest and drawing reassuring circles on his broad back with his free hand. He felt something squeeze in his chest as he took notice of the wet patch on his shirt slowly growing bigger and bigger.

Whenever Hide had thought that Kaneki had finally calmed down, he’d let him disentangle slowly from his own limbs, took a look at his face, took in every curve of skin and bone, every shadow under his eyes, the tears still fresh on his lenses, the trembling of his lower lip and–

“S-shut up. I-I’m not crying,” he heard Kaneki lie, an almost amused lilt to his wobbly voice.

_Yeah, sure._

Hide chuckled softly. “'Course you’re not,” he reassured him, nuzzling his hair again and tightening his embrace. He wanted to relearn his best friend’s identity, and he wanted to engrave every inch of Kaneki’s skin on his, with gentle touches and lingering gazes, with every smile and every tear he knew to be way more intimate than any other word or gesture he could’ve said. He wanted to stay by his side and make up for the lost time, because god, _it felt good_ to finally feel full and functioning again, the weight of his best friend body pressed snuggly on his own chest, the solid sturdiness of his trained muscles between his arms, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against his own as he leaned on him for support. “I’m the one who’s doing all the job,” he joked, but it was true, and he didn’t want to keep it all in anymore.

He couldn’t help it, but he had a feeling Kaneki couldn’t, either. He understood in the way he felt him squeeze the hem of his shirt in a a tight fist. And so he let it all out, because he was so fucking relieved, so damn _happy_ to be here, in this moment in time, with him.

He never wanted to let him go again. And now he knew the feeling was _mutual_.

His tears had never tasted quite like happiness before, but they did now.

When they finally pulled away, they took a glance at each other and then, with no warning whatsoever, started giggling like kids in kindergarten. For all their talk about not crying, they sported identical puffy eyes and blotchy cheeks. They were a mess, and they didn’t care one bit.

Kaneki’s hand was still fisted in Hide’s shirt, and he made no move to exstricate himself from his best friend’s lap, as a thought crossed his face and he looked down. “Hey, Hide?” he hesitantly asked. All of a sudden, he was afraid all over again.

“Yeah?” Hide prompted him. “What is it, buddy?”

“Do you think I can spend the night?”

Hide searched for his eyes. He knew it was a loaded question. Both of them were at :re right now, and they’d been indulging in their mutual happiness for a long time now. But soon enough, Hide knew Kaneki would need to go. The CCG knew this place. He couldn’t stay. He’d need to go into hiding all over again.

Hide raised a hand to Kaneki’s cheek, stroking the tear tracks away from his face. “Of course,” he whispered, not bothering to hide the way his heart somersaulted at the request, and he rested his forehead on his best friend’s.

This was the first time Kaneki was deliberately choosing him over everything else. Chosing him _first_.

_Kaneki didn’t want to let him go, either._

It came as a shock that electrocuted him to his bones. He felt his lips stretch so wide he thought his face might split in two.

“Really?” Kaneki still had the nerve to ask as if Hide could lie about something like that, and Hide only giggled, kissing him square on the lips for the briefest of seconds, his lips still forming the brightest grin he’s ever managed in his life. “Of course, Kaneki. Anytime.”

Kaneki froze for a second, and it was then that Hide realized what he’d done.

“Whooops,” he said, “Maybe I got a bit carried away. I’m just so happy you’re here to stay. This doesn’t mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

“Hide,” Kaneki started, and for a terrifying second Hide couldn’t decipher his tone nor the seriousness in his eyes. Hide let his hands fall from their place on Kaneki’s hips, already giving him space. But then Kaneki spoke again: “I’m happy too,” he finished.

It was all the warning he gave him before he crushed his lips on Hide’s.

 

 

x.

 

 

“What’s this for?” Hide asked, amusement tinging his tone. “I’m not even that cold, buddy.”

“I know,” Kaneki replied. Then added: “Touka gave it to me.”

_It’s a comfort blanket, you moron. Because you’re still shocked for the recent events._

_I’m not shocked, Touka-chan_ , he’d weakly protested, staring dubiously at the offending object she’d crudely thrown his way. _I just need to see him_.

_He’ll be here soon. And put that damn thing on your shoulders. You’ll feel better_ , she’d said. Then softly added to herself, as she walked away, _It always works in movies_.

“It’s a comfort blanket,” Kaneki finally explained at the persisting bemused expression on his best friend’s face. “It’s used for cuddling,” he said, securing it even better around both their shoulders. Once he was satisfied with his handiwork, he rested his cheek on Hide’s shoulder. He’d grown taller than Kaneki of a few inches, and Kaneki was going to exploit the hell out of it.

“Are you sure that’s its intended function?” Hide only asked, and Kaneki swore there was a hint of amusement mixed with something else in his voice.

“Positive.”

“Mh-mh.”

“Hey, Hide?” He nuzzled his neck, eliciting a shiver from Hide.  
“Yeah?”

Kaneki smiled against his skin, finally feeling peace settle on his tired shoulders. This was what happiness felt like. This was undeniably right. He wasn’t going to let it slip from his fingers again. His smile turned mischievous.

“Why aren’t you cuddling with me, yet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun fact no one cares about: with this ficlet I broke one of my die-hard headcanons for the hidekane pairing, which is that Hide would NEVER be the one to initiate the first kiss with Kaneki, nor the first one to confess his feelings, despite being the one who realizes his crush way before the other ever gets the idea. What can I say. Hide strikes me as that kind of character that would be scared shitless of doing /anything/ to make Kaneki freak out, and a love confession when Kaneki isn't ready would totally freak him out. But... For the sake of the fluff and their own happiness I let it go for this once ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) This is the most ooc ficlet I've ever written but I don't even care, ahah  
> As always, [here's](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/141977956489/if-you-could-maybe-do-that-fic-thing-with-hidekane) the tumblr link in case any of you wanted to like/reblog it.


	5. Of deadlines, amusement parks and changing perspectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kaneki's deadlines are approaching, Hide has none of it and maybe, for everything to change, something has to remain the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion!  
> This is quite possibly my favourite ficlet in this collection. Maybe because I'm an emotional loser that loves symbolism and parallels, or maybe because this is the way I wished this manga could end one day. I don't really know.  
> Either way, please don't hesitate to leave a comment, however short or incoherent it might be. I love hearing from you guys and knowing that someone is reading and (I hope) enjoying these fics is one of the greatest joys of a fanwriter! :)  
> This chapter has no additional warnings! Enjoy, if possible!

“Wakey wakey, Sleeping Beauty!” Trilled a suspiciously familiar voice too loud for comfort.

“mnnnngggggh,” was Kaneki’s super-coherent reply. It was too early in the morning for this.

“It’s already past noon, man,” came the annoying voice of truth, as if reading his mind. “As much as I’d love to let you sleep a few more hours, you’ll ruin your sleep schedule if you don’t get up now!”

Mind still fogged from sleep, Kaneki burrowed deeper in his blankets, “J'st five m’re m'nutes,” he mumbled.

A suspicious silence followed, and really, Kaneki should’ve expected what was to come. Months of living in the same apartment with Hide should have really taught him something. But he was too tired to pay attention to the little tells, and so when Hide cannon-balled on his still sleeping figure, it took all of Kaneki hard-won patience and self-restraint not to activate his kakugan and let loose his kagune at the sudden attack. But then Hide kissed him on the nose, complaining about his morning breath and ruffling his bedhead, and Kaneki had to admit defeat. As if he could hold any grudge against him.

Sure, this was their morning routine -err, presently more like their afternoon one-, but Kaneki doubted he’d ever get used to it. But, with a smile curving his dead-tired lips, he mused that it could’ve gone much worse, so he’d gladly take _this_ torture anytime.

 

x.

 

“Hide, what are we doing here?”  
The question, albeit posed as a legitimate one, was met with a shushing sound and with a hand tugging his, prompting him to follow his companion. Kaneki huffed at Hide’s antics. “You know I have still five chapters to edit,” he chided, but with no real bite to his words. He was just curious. What exactly did Hide have in mind? It wasn’t like Kaneki was completely opposed to spending time with him, quite the contrary, but Hide knew perfectly well his deadlines, so why had he thought _now_ was a good time for whatever this was abou–

“And _that_ is why we’re here. You need to relax a bit before you hand in the manuscript. Say, Kaneki, doesn’t this bring back memories?” Hide asked when they finally reached their destination, turning to look at him in the eyes, a happy and mischievous glint in his own irises.

Kaneki properly looked at his surroundings, taking everything in. His shoulders sagged and his protests died on his tongue when realization hit him. _This place_ …

Hide’s hand found his again, when silence only met his words. Kaneki felt him squeeze reassuringly, probably catching on to his train of thoughts, and turned to look at his boyfriend. “We used to come here all the time, when we were kids, didn’t we?” he said, a barely there whisper.

Hide nodded. Kaneki turned his gaze back at the whale sitting at the center of the park, a lone figure, unmoving and unchanging, a rock from his not so distant past. He felt incredibly old when he realized that this sight didn’t match with the one he still had tucked away in a comfortable fold of his memory, because the perspective wasn’t quite right.

_Of course it isn’t, silly. You grew up in the meantime_.  
But still, it was unbalancing. He could sort of understand why Hide had dragged him here, and also why he’d chosen today, and felt a bitter but fond smile curve his lips upwards. Hide squeezed his hand again, dragging him on top of the whale with a reminiscent smile of his own.

Up there, Kaneki could see it. He let his gaze wander through every stretch of grass and soil of the park, every square full of sand for kids to play, every seesaw and every swing. The world that had seemed so big as a kid was just a square of grass in the chaos of Tokyo’s urban uproar and neon-lighted nightlife.

And in the middle of it, the never-changing whale, who looked at every month, every year passing by with its painted smile and dull eyes, taking in every small change in the City, giving comfort to the tired buzzing of the morning and evening rush, and to the stretched and tired limbs of the subway of Tokyo with the kind of reassurance that came from something that would always remain true to itself, unmoving, unjudging, soothing in its immobility.

“Hey,” Hide said, pulling him out of his nostalgic reverie. “You okay, man?”

Kaneki just nodded. Contentment settled in his every feature, and he slowly let a smile spread on his lips. This was the most at peace with himself and his life that he’d been in months, and he wanted for Hide to know.

_How lucky was I_ , he mused, _to meet you again_.

His hand stretched until it found Hide’s smaller and somehow frail looking one. Hide’s palm turned upwards in an automatic action to meet his fingers halfway and tangle with them. A familiarity that never ceased to amaze Kaneki and send a blossoming warmth through his whole ribcage.

“Thank you, Hide,” he just mumbled, shyly avoiding his eyes. It was all he needed to say, really. He knew Hide would understand. Hell, he knew Hide had always understood. He always picked up on the smallest of details, always pretended like it was second nature, despite the strain it must put on his back. Kaneki knew he wasn’t the easiest person to find your way around, and he was immensely grateful for Hide’s constant, unchanging and soothing presence at his side. Much like the whale they were sitting on, but better. Because Hide’s eyes weren’t dull, his smile not painted in messy acrylic on a dusty surface.

Hide was real, he was still alive, and still at his side.

_How very lucky_ , Kaneki thought, familiar fondness showing in his eyes as he pulled closer, and closer, until there was no space left between their parted lips and wandering hands, until their bodies pressed flush against one another, uncaring of their surroundings, of the stares they would probably attract on themselves, _deliberate_ in their affections, because they wanted for Tokyo to see. For Tokyo to acknowledge that their fight was over, their revolution had already brought all the changes that were needed on the surface, but at their core, the most important things still remained the same.

The taste of Hide’s chapped lips on his, his own soft breath still smelling like coffee, mingling with their quickened heartbeats, the urgency that gave way to tenderness as they found a more soothing pace.

Really, there was no rush. With the threat of his upcoming deadline looming over him, Kaneki let himself lose track of time, because if Hide had always been right at his side, it still felt like they had to make up for the lost time, till their heart’s content. And Kaneki’s heart was insatiable, once he let his ghoul’s hunger lay dormant in a fragment of his mind, and just let his feelings take over.

Still, the city would keep changing around them, and still, Kaneki would keep describing it in his novels, novels about ghouls, about humans and interspecies newborns, about coexistence, because that of being an active part of destiny had always been his Fate. But Hide’s was that of the silent mastermind behind Kaneki’s every step, and he would gladly agree with all his strategies, as long as his plans with him involved the pursuit of their mutual happiness.

He wouldn’t change his life for anything else in the world, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's](http://bloodycarnations.tumblr.com/post/142013382264/for-the-ficlet-challenge-if-youre-still-taking) the tumblr link for the present ficlet, as usual.  
>  And [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6772714) is the link to the Mermaid!AU sequel I promised you at the beginning of this collection. Go read it before I change my mind and I delete it from existence, ugh. Why is writing so hard.


End file.
